Johnston Canyon Banff Canada
Photograph ©2017 by Brian Cohen.

10 Suggestive Names of Real Locations Worldwide — Part 12: The Oldest Profession Version

Have you ever been to a place somewhere in this wonderful world in which we live which has a name that seems suggestive — or perhaps less than wholesome? In locations outside of the country where you are based, the names of locations may seem to have a different meaning to you than the actual origin — but when those strange names are found in the same country as yours, they may tend to have you scratching your head.

10 Suggestive Names of Real Locations Worldwide — Part 12: The Oldest Profession Version

This article is the twelfth in a series which give examples of suggestive names of real locations around the world; and as a form of proof that they actually exist, an interactive Google map is included with each entry — along with a brief description of the highlighted location — and the main focus of this article is the purported oldest profession in the world.

Without further ado, let us begin with this hustle — and the locations are listed in this article in alphabetical order…

1. Harlot’s Wood, Rye, United Kingdom

Harlot’s Wood is located in the Rother district in the county of East Sussex in southeastern England in the United Kingdom fewer than 24 miles south of Maidstone. One has to wonder if the stoned maid moonlights as a harlot who must have her fair share of wood to keep her satisfied.

2. Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey, United States

Origins of its name — as well as the reason of incorporating two hyphens — unknown, the affluent borough of Ho-Ho-Kus is located in Bergen County in New Jersey fewer than 28 miles from the city of New York and approximately 5.25 miles south of the state line New Jersey shares with New York. The name does sound like a phrase Santa Claus would utter laced with profanity after being serviced simultaneously by two prostitutes in an unsatisfactory manner.

3. Hooker, Oklahoma, United States

Texas County in the center of the panhandle of Oklahoma is where the city of Hooker is located — it was named after John “Hooker” Threlkeld, who was apparently known for how he used a rope — and the official weblog and forum of the city is called The Red Light District. The American Legion baseball team became known as the Hooker Horny Toads. The only thing missing is that United States Highway 64 thrusts through the city instead of United States Highway 69.

4. Hooker Corner, Indiana, United States

Now considered to be an extinct town, a few buildings still exist where Hooker Corner in Pine Township in Warren County in western Indiana was once located — which is between the city of Lafayette and the state line Indiana shares with Illinois — but the area does have a winery and a bakery. At least something still rises after being plied with alcohol in the vicinity of Hooker Corner.

5. Hookerton, North Carolina, United States

The two boat ramps of Contentnea Creek — no, the letter o will not be replaced by the letter u in the first four letters of the name of the creek— provide tranquil places where you can enjoy fishing, canoeing, or kayaking when visiting Hookerton, which was formally established in 1817 in Greene County in eastern North Carolina. You can also enjoy walking on nature trails and a civil war site. The official slogan of the town is “Peace and Quiet when you want it. Great Neighbors when you don’t.” Peace and quiet, not piece of harlot — unless you have one of those great Contentnea neighbors who will not charge you for her services…

6. Hustleville, Alabama, United States

This unincorporated community is located in Marshall County in northeastern Alabama approximately halfway between Gadsden and Huntsville; and also approximately halfway between Chattanooga and Birmingham. Those routes roughly form an X — and what business relationship hustle would not include some rough X? Do the hustle!

7. Johns Creek, Georgia, United States

Although Johns Creek did not officially become incorporated as a city in Fulton County in northern Georgia until Friday, December 1, 2006, its history does date back to the year 1820. The city — which is currently a suburb north of Atlanta — was named after John Rogers, who was the great great uncle of Will Rogers and a colleague of Andrew Jackson. Johns Creek can be interpreted by a prostitute as the wet result of her incredible arousal of John…

8. Pimperne, Blandford Forum, United Kingdom

The village and civil parish of Pimperne is located in north Dorset northeast of the town of Blandford Forum in southern England in the United Kingdom — and Stonehenge is almost 30 miles northeast of Pimperne. Parish the thought of any ladies of the evening soliciting their wares and services by their Pimperne; but if the parish were not so civil, perhaps the forum would be more exciting and not so Blandford after all.

9. Whorehouse Meadow, Oregon, United States

Female entrepreneurs would set up tents constructed of wood and canvas in a secluded meadow to provide their services to the sheepherders and cattlemen of the area, which is why this part of the western slope of Steens Mountain in Harney County in southeastern Oregon is known as Whorehouse Meadow. Look carefully on the bark of some of the aspen trees which surround Whorehouse Meadow and you may be able to view some of the explicit carvings by those sheepherders and cattlemen. What more can be said?!?

10. Whores Wood, Welwyn, United Kingdom

Whores Wood is located in the village and civil parish of Welwyn in Hertfordshire in southern England in the United Kingdom. What would the hoarse whores do with Whores Wood if the wood of the whores’ horse would horse around — and who’re the whores, anyway? That can potentially be a tongue twister — which would be quite appropriate for this article in more ways than one…

Summary

If while reading this article you felt that so many more entries were missing and long overdue, know that dozens more examples of locations with suggestive names will be considered for future articles here at The Gate

…but in the meantime, please feel free to offer suggestions of your own in the Comments section below.

If you have not had enough hustling in the meantime, please be sure to read the other articles in this series:

Johnston Canyon in the Rocky Mountains of Canada could have been used to represent a ton of johns in this article; but instead — for additional information with plenty of photographs and a trip report — please refer to the Johnston Canyon: An Introduction article, The Lower Falls of Johnston Canyon article, The Upper Falls of Johnston Canyon article, and the Leaving Johnston Canyon article. Photograph ©2017 by Brian Cohen.

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