Change Fees Increase on United Airlines?

Please Mr. Smisek

(Stop)
Oh yes, wait a minute Mister Smisek
(Wait)
Wai-ai-ai-ai-ait Mister Smisek
Please Mister Smisek, tell me and see
(Oh yeah)
Did you actually raise your change fees on me
(Please, Please Mister Smisek)
Why’s it seem to be in a flash
(Oh yeah)
That you take from me even more cash
There must be some word today
From United about this in some way
Please Mister Smisek, check and see
If theres an announcement about higher fees
At my computer waitin Mister Smisek
So patiently
For just an e-mail, or even a ‘tweet’
Sayin you are raisin change fees
(Mister Smisek)
Mister Smisek, check for me
(Oh yeah)
$200.00 is highway robbery
(Please, Please Mister Smisek)
Whys it takin even more money
(Oh yeah)
To travel on United with my honey
So many flights have landed so late
If they weren’t canceled by this date
You didn’t compensate me in any way
And now to change my flight — more I have to pay
(Mister Smisek)
Mister Smisek, is it more dough
(Oh yeah)
For change fees — don’t you think I should know
(Please, Please Mister Smisek)
Maybe it’s time for you to go
(And take your so-called loyalty and shove it in — well — you know)
Raise those change fees
Customers flee
It isn’t right
To change fees overnight
(Mister Smisek)
Mister Smisek, look at me
($200.00 is set but $300.00 is better)
Mister Smisek

All right — so I am not Gladys Horton of The Marvelettes, may she rest in peace. However, I offer no apology to re-writing the lyrics to Please Mr. Postman, which is the title of their debut hit single in 1961 for the Tamla label, a division of Motown Record Corporation:

…and I have nothing personal against Jeff Smisek, by the way. This song parody is simply in fun to spread the serious news in a different way pertaining to the supposed increase in change fees on United Airlines from $150.00 to $200.00 in some markets and from $250.00 to $300.00 in other markets…

2 thoughts on “Change Fees Increase on United Airlines?”

  1. DC777Fan says:

    OK this is great

  2. starflyer says:

    Another one of Smisek’s “changes you’ll like”?
    I know this is not a frequent flyer program change, but still … I’ve loved so many of this changes – demotion of lifetime Premier Executive, upgrades for tens of dollars to non-status travelers while 1Ks get no upgrade, reduced award availability, credit card holders get same boarding priority as 50K mile a year fiiers, etc. – that I’ve moved much of my travel to AA, which now seems to have a much better program than UA for the top elite flyers.

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