Is Love Possible at 35,000 Feet in 2019?
As Valentine’s Day winds down for 2019, here is a look at the technology which is available for you to meet that special someone — especially if you like to travel or are a frequent flier who does not have the time to meet people.
Before delving into exactly what are some of the options available to you, please indulge me in presenting to you the following novel fictional scenario…
Is Love Possible at 35,000 Feet in 2019?
SM, 35, looking for SF, 30-40 for travel and dining all over the world. Must be FF on DL and AA, likes staying in Marriotts and Hyatts, and prefers Avis over Hertz.
Intrigued, she responds to his personal advertisement. They meet at the ticketing counter at the airport. Both are excited to be going through the airport security checkpoint together. “Hey — I might get to see a photograph of you naked, and we have only been together for 30 minutes!”
“In your dreams”, she replies. “However, you might get to see how radiant I am as we collect our belongings.”
…they start to undress — as they approach the airport security checkpoint. They first remove their shoes. He takes off his belt. She removes her jewelry. They place their items — in the same bin.
This relationship is already off to a wild start.
She notices his muscular physique as his arms and legs are spread wide apart as the body scanner — well — scans his body. Hey, I am no Jackie Collins, you know.
“Sir, are these your high-heeled shoes?” asks the Transportation Security Administration agent.
“Why, yes — of course!” he says in a high-pitched voice as he twirls his body mockingly. She rolls her eyes and laughs.
He holds her hand as they get dressed together: her feet slip into her shoes; he puts his belt back on. “Wow — that was incredible!” he exclaimed. “It usually takes me longer — but this time it was effortless!”
“It was my first time”, she replied.
“No — I was just kidding. My first time was when I traveled on a Virgin.”
“Yes!!! How did you know?!?”
They listened to the music from his smartphone together. “That is one of my favorite songs!” she said.
“Really? Mine too!” he said, astonished.
At the gate — no, not this weblog — she hears her name called over the public address system. The gate agent informs her that she has been upgraded. She turns it down and requests a seat next to her new companion instead.
Okay, stop with the “yeah, right”s. It could happen, you know. Unlikely — but possible.
Once aboard the aircraft, she leans in to him. He puts his arm around her — but only after he finishes his game of Bejeweled on the in-flight entertainment system.
“You are just soooo romantic,” she says sarcastically to him. He smiles.
The meals arrive — I guess that is a clue that they are not traveling on a domestic flight in the United States in the economy class cabin. Together, they remove the foils which covered their meals, intertwine their arms and lick the residue from the foil to taste each other’s meals. “Mmmm….delicious”, she says.
He cuts a piece of his burnt unidentifiable meat from some unknown animal and feeds her a piece. She in turn scoops a portion of the yellow gelatinous glop and plops it into his tin. They laugh as the immediate area is splattered with yellow…er…stuff.
An “I love you” blurts from his mouth unexpectedly.
“I love you too”, she responds while glowing inside — purportedly more so from ingesting that yellow gelatinous glop with the unidentifiable meat from some unknown animal, rather than in reaction to what he said.
“Let’s get married at the non-denominational chapel at the airport when we land”, he burped.
“We will never be alone again when we travel — and I just won $460.00 from this contest where we will stay at the most romantic hostel!”
Now you know why I do not write romantic novels.
In fact, I invite you to get creative. Add to this fictitious story by posting in the Comments section below. I am really looking forward to seeing your contributions.
A Seat Swap Love Story to Warm Your Heart
Requests for swapping seats — as well as a practice known as seat poaching — aboard an airplane are amongst some of the most controversial topics amongst frequent fliers which result in seemingly never-ending vociferous debates…
…but emerging from all of that — buried in this lengthy discussion pertaining to swapping seats and catching the attention of FlyerTalk members — is this short yet sweet story of FlyerTalk member DYKWIA2014, who admittedly did what could be perceived as the unthinkable: he paid someone to trade his seat in the premium class cabin for a seat towards the rear of the aircraft in the economy class cabin:
I once paid a guy $100 and my first class seat, to take his window seat way back in Y, just so I could sit next to this hot girl I met in the airport bar before the flight. She had the aisle seat next to him.
“He wouldn’t take the F upgrade for nothing?” asked FlyerTalk member sethb. “I hope she was worth it.”
Here was the response by DYKWIA2014:
We walked onto the plane together from the bar. I gave her the $100 and my boarding pass, and told her to offer it to whomever was sitting next to her. This guy comes up the aisle looking like he had just won the lottery.
I was single at the time, and the girl turned out to be a keeper. She’s my wife.
If that was not enough, DYKWIA2014 added the following unanticipated “perk” as a result of this union:
Best $100.00 I ever spent!
Yup. And the best part is I also acquired a stepchild, who ended up becoming a Delta FA and we can fly Non-Rev.
Sometimes you just never know when you meet someone in a bar . . .
You knew that this love story had to have a conclusion of sorts which would be completely appropriate for FlyerTalk — and it was met with reactions by fellow FlyerTalk members such as:
“That is awesome – you’ve just made my day!”
“Now that is a travel story! Gave me goosebumps.”
“The joys of travel and drinking in bars pays off. Congrats.”
“That is a fantastic story! We’re not worthy… WKWYA (We Know Who You Are!)”
“I like this attitude much better than Diarrhea.”
You will have to read the discussion in which this love story appeared to understand that last comment.
Apparently DYKWIA2014 is not a DYKWIA.
No matter what point of view you might take on swapping seats or poaching seats aboard an airplane, this particular unlikely seat swapping incident proves that swapping a premium class seat for an economy class seat — and paying $100.00 for the privilege to do so — can result in a significant change of life which is far more beneficial and reaps more dividends than may be initially obviously apparent…
…although I am sure that the recipient of this particular seat swap must have thought that he won the lottery with that request. Imagine being paid $100.00 to be upgraded to a seat in the premium class cabin aboard an airplane!
I am not a fan of love stories myself; but I thought that this one was a nice one to share where everyone involved benefited — just in time for Valentine’s Day.
The Love Story of a Very Engaging Sky Club Meeting
Yes, this love story will be ten years old this year but it is worth repeating: FlyerTalk member brillb wanted to propose to fellow FlyerTalk member lvp1531 in a special way to marry him, but he was uncertain at first on just how to do it. However, with a little help and a lot of cooperation from his new friends at Delta Air Lines, he decided to meet her in the Delta Air Lines Sky Club at the same Terminal E concourse at the airport in Atlanta where they first met three years prior, and then propose to her on an empty Delta Air Lines Boeing 767-400 aircraft in the BusinessElite cabin.
Find out for yourself if A Medallion Wedding Proposal will — ahem — ring a bell with you…and yes, there are photographs of the actual engagement.
Until We Meet Again, My Love…
…you may want to read about how FlyerTalk members cope with Long Distance Relationships…
…and while you read that thread, biding the time until we see each other again, can you guess what the longest distance relationship may be in terms of distance, and between which two countries?
I am booking our tickets now, sweetheart, because I really need to re-qualify for elite level status next year as well as the miles and points …
…oh, yeah – and so that we may see each other again soon. Yeah. That’s it…
Now On to the Available Technology Options…
Anyway, there are actually Internet web sites and software application programs for portable electronic devices for travel dating where you can possibly meet that special someone — and they even have niches which differentiate themselves from one another. One connects travelers with locals for advice and activities. Another allows you to post a trip which you are planning and invite complete strangers to join you. Another matches you with fellow airline passengers, allowing you to connect with them on the Web before you connect in the air. Yet another is designed for you if you are searching for love. And yes, there is even one for those who want to make friends at hostels — although I would not recommend being hostel to someone upon first meeting him or her.
Formerly known as AirDates, the mobile software application program now known as BuckleUp which professes to you with “Your Local Love interest is right around the corner. Your Commuter Crush takes the same train every morning. Have they noticed? Love is in the Air! The cutie in seat 32B Keeps looking at you. Match with them & BuckleUp!”
You are at the airport — perhaps either to catch a flight which does not depart for at least an hour; or your flight just finished and you need ground transportation.
A software application program called btrfly can be loaded on to your Apple iOS or Android portable electronic device — and you can then use it to see who else is on your flight. Perhaps you want someone with whom to talk to while away the time either before or during your flight. Maybe you want to share a ride to save money once the flight has concluded.
According to the tagline of btrfly, “Travel is about more than the destination. It’s about the journey. Make more of yours.” Okay. Sure.
Similar to btrfly but more of an Internet web site rather than a software application program for a portable electronic device, Meetattheairport.com enables travelers to find and message one another if they are passing through an airport at the same time — for anything from a casual acquaintance to a serious relationship — but if you do decide to use this service, do not share your flight information or itinerary with your “date” for obvious reasons.
You can connect with fellow passengers using Planely.com, which matches you with them via the Internet before you meet during your flight. Simply log on to Planely.com and enter your destination and when you are traveling. Planely.com then uses the Facebook and LinkedIn accounts of its members to not only show you other travelers you might know on your flight; but also what you might have in common with them so that you can chat about topics of which both of you share an interest — or you can share a ride using ground transportation with someone staying at the same hotel at which you are staying.
Believe it or not, there is even one where attractive people use their looks to be matched with generous people in garnering free travel. Can you say “sugar daddy”?
This sounds rather sleazy — not that the others might not cause you to pause for a second. But hey — whatever floats your boat…
…or, in this case, flies your airplane.
FlyerTalk and InsideFlyer
Although FlyerTalk is not an Internet web site for dating by any means, several marriages of FlyerTalk members have occurred over the years. I will not say who to protect their privacy — although you can easily search for who they are on FlyerTalk in the CommunityBuzz forum. They simply met at gatherings of FlyerTalk members somewhere around the world and eventually fell in love.
The Community Center forum of InsideFlyer can also be a place where you can potentially meet fellow frequent fliers and travelers; but InsideFlyer is also not an Internet web site for dating.
There is also a calendar feature — which you can view either by a monthly or weekly view — where you can potentially meet up with fellow members of InsideFlyer.
Then again, if you are a member of either of those Internet bulletin boards for frequent fliers and travelers — well…you never know what might happen.
Technologies Which Failed and Did Not Survive
KLM Royal Dutch Airlines was at least one airline which offered a social check-in feature called Meet & Seat, where you can find out who will be on your flight — as well as view the Facebook or LinkedIn profile details of other passengers and see where they will be sitting — long before your flight leaves the ground…
…but the feature seems to have met its demise, as it seems to no longer exist.
Although not a technology, Delta Air Lines and Coca-Cola attempted to capitalize on Valentine’s Day with napkins served with drinks aboard airplanes with “Because you’re on a plane full of interesting people and hey…you never know” printed on the fronts of them — along with blanks to fill out your name and number next to “be a little old school. write down your number & give it to your plane crush. you never know…” printed on the reverse sides of them…
Hey @Delta and @CocaCola These napkins are creepy AF. Pretty sure no one appreciated unsolicited phone numbers in the ‘good old days’ and they sure as heck don’t want the number of someone who has been gawking at them on a plane for hours today. Not a good look. pic.twitter.com/PJAiurFRMh
— ducksauz (@ducksauz) January 21, 2019
…but they were ultimately perceived as “creepy” and were removed from airplanes as promptly as possible.
At least the message on the napkin was not initially perceived — at least, by me, anyway — as The World Is Better With Out You In It…
…but the actual message is The World Is Better With You Out In It., as I first commented in this article on Wednesday,
25 Pick-Up Lines to Use Aboard an Airplane?…
In one of the most inane articles I have read in a long time — yes, even more inane than this one pertaining to what your airplane seat choice says about you, about which I added my own thoughts and comments here — 25 pick-up lines are offered which you can purportedly use to potentially “break the ice” with someone to whom you are attracted.
Here are those 25 pick-up lines — as well as my comments:
- “Can I buy you a drink?” Or order one without asking him or her. What if the person does not drink alcoholic beverages — like me, for example — or is allergic to alcohol?
- “Are you traveling alone?” That might be met with another line: “No — I am traveling with several men six feet four inches tall and 250 pounds who have won world championship weightlifting titles, wrestling matches and boxing fights.” Or, perhaps the other person may respond with “No — but you are” and walk away or ignore you for the rest of the flight.
- “You shouldn’t have to lift your bag.” “Good. I want you to carry it for me throughout the remaining duration of my trip.”
- “You wouldn’t believe what I had to trade for this seat next to you.” Your dignity — for using that line?
- “What are you watching?” “You acting like a total jerk” or “I do not know — I am trying to figure that out for myself” as the other person refers to you without even so much as looking at you.
- “Could we even fit in the bathroom?” If a hand suddenly whacks you across your face after using that line, don’t complain — you deserved it.
- During turbulence: “Don’t worry, I’ll hold you.” “I would first fly around the aircraft like a missile and suffer broken bones before that ever happened, you creep.”
- “I won’t mind if you cuddle with me in your sleep.” “Dream on — because your dreams are the only places where we will cuddle while sleeping. Here is an airplane pillow. Cuddle with this.”
- “Want to share my dessert?” “Sure. I would love to eat something which has your spit all over it. Right.”
- “Want to share my Xanax?” “No; but I got some meth. Prescription drugs are sooooo lame.” That is a potential disaster just waiting to happen. I do not even know where to begin with this, as it is arguably the stupidest pick-up line I have ever seen — even if it was meant as an attempt at levity…
- “My TV is broken — care to spare an earbud?” “I am not Vincent Van Gogh, so I do not have an ear to spare — bud.” If it is one of those cheap disposable earbud headphones, simply take a scissor, cut the cord to one of the earbuds, and hand it to the other person. “Keep it.”
- “I get nervous when I fly; do you mind if I hold your hand?” “No — but you can hold my emotional support pig to ease your nerves.” You can also score points with “Want to share my Xanax?” — but I would not recommend that response.
- “Coffee, tea, or me?” Hey, pal — 1954 called and said that it wants that line back.
- On Virgin America’s in-flight chat: “Hey, beautiful” / “Hi, handsome.” What? A pick-up line aboard an airplane operated by Virgin America without using the word virgin? Surely you could be more creative than that?!?
- “I see you ordered the kosher meal; are you single?” “No, but I am Jewish.” What in the world does a Kosher meal have to do with being single? What are you — a Jewish mother trying to impose a guilt trip?!? “Listen: you need to get married, have a few kids — and eat something, for crying out loud!!!”
- “When you sleep, you look like an angel.” “When you are awake, you look like death warmed over. How would you like a one-way ticket to Heaven where you can see all of the angels you want?”
- “If we go down, I’ll save you first.” Um…am I the only one who saw more than one meaning in this loser of a line?
- In the bathroom line: “Please, you go ahead.” Depending on to whom you use that line, the other passengers waiting in line might not appreciate your gallantry. Instead of picking someone up, you will most likely have made a few new enemies — which is not recommended in closed quarters aboard an airplane — and they might even cut in front of you to use the lavatory.
- “Can you keep a secret? I’m packin’.” What the heck is this line supposed to mean?!? You might be lucky if the other person does not send you packin’ first.
- Pilot: “I had to leave the cockpit to say hello.” If you are indeed a pilot, this line might actually work. If you are not a pilot — like this loser, for example — do not get your hopes up.
- “I’m glad I used my miles for first class — you’re worth the upgrade.” “I am sorry I spent several thousand dollars just to sit next to you. What did I do to deserve this?!? I would rather be seated in coach; and I could have saved a ton of money as well…”
- “How did you get through security without setting the sensors off?” “How did you get through security at all?!?”
- “Can I show you around when we land?” This line could work if you have gained trust from that person; if you are in the know about where to go at your final destination; and if you both have time.
- “I have a car picking me up — need a lift?” Actually, this is a potentially good line. You are offering convenience, efficiency and possibly saving money to the other person — as long as the other person does not think you are attempting to kidnap him or her…
- “I don’t believe in sex before monogamy, but I do believe in kissing under your blanket.” “Good — here is the blanket. Kiss away under it to your heart’s content. Meanwhile, leave me alone — and keep the blanket, you disgusting pig.” Why not just outright ask the other person to join you in the “Mile High Club”?
…Here are 12 Pick-Up Lines Which Might Be Better
I was left wondering if that aforementioned article was actually valid, as I just could not take it seriously — which is why I decided to have some fun with it.
However, I do have a few lines which might — I repeat, might — actually work; but please do not hold me to them:
- “Do you live in New York?” Use this line for either the origination or destination — and of course replace New York with the actual origination or destination. This always works, by my experience — both with me and the other person — as it opens up the conversation to further discussion as to where you are traveling, where you are coming from, or whether you are traveling for business or pleasure.
- “Would you like for me to pass that to the flight attendant for you?” — or simply gesture to do that — when a flight attendant is collecting items after a service and the person is sitting at a seat by the window. You will most likely get a thank you from the other person — and that has worked both ways for me. That simple act — when met with a gesture or utterance of appreciation — can open the door to further conversation.
- “I am not eating this. Would you like to have it?” Ensure that the food you want to give away has not been touched by you — unlike the aforementioned lines of sharing the dessert or Xanax. My experience is that this line more often than not get a yes or a no; and I do not mind when someone uses it on me — especially if it is untouched food which I enjoy eating.
- “I read that book last week.” Comment on something to which you can relate with an experience or a similarity, as it is usually easy to converse with another person when you both have something in common.
- “How do you like that? I was thinking about getting one myself.” Ask about something which you are interested that the other person has or is using — such as lip balm, an article of clothing, or a gadget.
- “That is the Brooklyn Bridge over there; and that is the Empire State building over there, if you are interested.” This especially works when the person is craning his or her neck with a curious expression on his or her face while looking out the window. More often than not, that person will marvel at your knowledge and sense of geography — especially when it registers that you are indeed correct. However, know your audience: if the person appears disinterested after a while, stop; and if the person continues to be interested, offer to show him or her around if you have the time — or at least give information that that person can use.
- “I know some of the language which can help you when we land at our destination.” I have mentioned multiple times in the past about how learning even only a few words of the native language of your final destination can help improve your trip immensely. Why not offer that same courtesy to the other person? He or she just might appreciate your offer.
- “Do you want to share a cab?” This line does not quite have the potential kidnapping danger that line number 24 above might have; and both of you could save money in the process — especially if you are both headed in the same direction.
- “I do not like to eat alone. Would you like to join me for dinner?” I personally most likely would not take the offer even though I do not like to dine out in a restaurant alone; but hey — it could work for you if both you and the other person want to dine out at a restaurant but neither of you wants to do it alone…
- “I have more miles and points than I could ever use. Want to take a trip with me one day?”Please accept my apologies, as this cheesy line really belongs up in the other list as line number 26 — unless you are a Canadian whose name is Jordan Axani. Better yet…
- “Are you a member of any frequent travel loyalty programs? I can help you maximize them.”That is a far more benign offer. It shows that you are helpful, knowledgeable, and can potentially benefit the other person.
- “Are you a member of FlyerTalk or InsideFlyer?” Enough said.
Getting there is half the fun — sometimes even more of the fun — but the concept of using technology to meet someone is not exactly what I had in mind.
Some people might find the concept of meeting fellow travelers cold at airports, in hotels and aboard airplanes as rather creepy and unnatural. I personally prefer to keep to myself most of the time while traveling — unless I happen to be traveling with someone I already know…
…but then again, it could be a relatively harmless way to meet people while doing something in which you are already engaged — no pun intended — which is traveling.
I will keep an open mind on this one. I must admit that not only have I not used any of the options listed in this article to meet other people; but I do not know of anyone else who used them either.
Pick-up lines do not necessarily need to be used to find a significant other or a romantic partner; they could also be used to simply gain a new friend…
…but also keep in mind that they will not always work — no matter how good they may seem to be to you. I am one of those people who usually does not like to be disturbed by fellow passengers; but there have been a number of passengers who have successfully penetrated — I probably should not use that word here, come to think of it — my “wall.”
Are there any pick-up lines which either you have used — or have been used on you? What are your experiences?
Hey…those questions could themselves be pick-up lines…
If you are seeking to meet someone who will potentially be more than a friend to you, it is never too early to work on Valentine’s Day for next year — is it?!?
All photographs ©2007, ©2008, ©2014, ©2015, ©2016, ©2017 and ©2018 by Brian Cohen.