Racing Through the Airport: What If…

here are many impediments which can slow you down when going through the airport to catch your flight: long lines; the airport security checkpoint; crowded terminals are a few which come to mind…

…but what if we take the shoes with wheels as reported in this article by James Larounis of The Forward Cabin; and combine them with this idea of having a literal race track installed within an airport, as reported in this article by Jeanne Marie Hoffman of Le Chic Geek?

Racing through the airport — exponentially personified. Think of the possibilities…

  • Airlines could adopt this SmartSeat idea — originally conceived as joke for April Fool’s Day by WestJet Airlines — and adapt it in effect to affect passengers by greatly reducing travel time while increasing convenience
  • The need for moving walkways and airport trains could potentially be eliminated, saving energy while reclaiming space in airport terminals
  • Install ramps — similar to those found in parks designed for skateboards — at the gates and have passengers zip up the ramps; fly through the air; and land in their seats on the airplane, which would both speed up boarding times while potentially eliminating the need for jet bridges from the gate to the aircraft
  • The name of Indianapolis International Airport could be changed to Indianapolis 500 International Airport; and LAX would be a passé three-letter-code for Los Angeles International Airport
  • Fast food could finally be a realistic terminology at concessions in airport terminals in terms of speed and not in terms of abstaining from consuming their food and beverages


Then again, think of the potential disadvantages:

  • Traffic control devices and signals might need to be installed in airport terminals — thus rendering the idea of shoes with wheels and race tracks in airports useless
  • Insurance rates might skyrocket from all of the collisions which could occur
  • Airports might charge a “speed fee” with variable toll charges — perhaps similar to what is being implemented on some highways
  • Manufacturers of jet bridges, airport trains and moving sidewalks may have to shut down permanently from a lack of business, placing untold billions of people out of work and wreaking havoc on the worldwide economy — especially in Botswana
  • Modeling the shoes with wheels on the runway could have an entirely new meaning due to fashion models en vogue slowing down airplane traffic considerably


By the way: congratulations to James Larounis on achieving what he calls an absolutely phenomenal week; but while I wish Jeanne Marie Hoffman all of the best on the launch of Le Chic Geek, why does the article she wrote earlier today seem like it would be more appropriate for Heels First Travel?…

…and why has Kathy of Will Run For Miles or Charles Barkowski of Running With Miles not yet covered this potentially dashing story instead of stories respectively pertaining to flying cucumber aircraft and watching watch warranties warrant watching watches?

There is definitely something wrong with me…


2 thoughts on “Racing Through the Airport: What If…”

  1. Charlie says:

    Kathy did write about the Narita track story last week. I had not seen it until she wrote about it.
    Of course, if it is too much for some people to dash their way through an airport, this is always an option – 🙂

    1. Brian Cohen says:

      Chalk that up to something hiding in plain sight in my case, Charlie.

      Here is the link to the article Kathy wrote — along with my apologies to her for not including it in the article I wrote…

      …and thank you for the link to the article you have written.

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