Urine Luck: News That Is Fit to Stream

There has been a spate of unfortunate incidents involving public figures in the news recently — and two of them involve ways to … er … impede a flight.
First, a JetBlue Passenger Pees On Sleeping Child. As reported in the August 15th edition of FlyerTalk’s own TalkMail newsletter, a drunk 18-year-old male allegedly urinated on the leg of a sleeping 11-year-old girl during a flight from Portland to New York. Her father was traveling with his two daughters to visit their grandmother for the first time since he was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, and he reportedly caught the Olympic hopeful in the act of relieving himself on his child. The now-former member of the United States Ski Team – who admitted to consuming at least eight alcoholic beverages before boarding the flight and supposedly refused to apologize for the incident – may very well have flushed his promising future down the toilet as a result.
Then, only days later, Gérard Depardieu relieves himself on flight headed for Dublin. Depardieu was allegedly intoxicated when the incident occurred after he was reportedly denied access to the lavatory while on-board Air France flight 5010, which was delayed in Paris. Well, at least we now know what was supposedly “number one” on his mind that day.
Finally, instead of a “yellow” day — as with the two aforementioned incidents of relief — the lead singer for the band Green Day saw red when a Southwest Airlines flight attendant “sang the blues” regarding his saggy pants by ejecting him from the aircraft. Billie Joe Armstrong was on his way to Burbank from Oakland when he initially reportedly defied the request to pull up his sagging pants — and used some strong language in the process. Perhaps his pants were sagging low enough so that he was preparing himself to be “peed off” aboard the aircraft and the flight attendant caught on to his diabolical scheme?
We will now zip up with these piddling stories before they get even bladder and return you now to the topics on FlyerTalk usually covered by The Gate.

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