What Hotel Operators Must Think in Designing and Maintaining Rooms

I will let the following content posted by FlyerTalk member TransGlobal001 speak for itself…
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I’ve come to imagine what hotel operators must think in designing and maintaining hotel rooms. If there is a meeting, it goes something like this:
“First, let’s put cards up reminding guests to reuse towels so that we all can ‘help save the environment,’ and then let’s make sure there are no hooks to hang the towels on.
“Better yet, let’s have hooks, but we’ll put the bathrobes on them, so they can’t be used for the towels.
“Yes, and if they find a place to hang the towels, then when we come through with housekeeping let’s fold the towels back up, so the guest can’t tell which they’ve already used.
“And don’t forget the sheets. We’ll tell them we’ll only replace them every other day to ’save the environment…‘
“…but we’ll waste more energy by setting every air conditioner to freeze the rooms to 60 degrees.
“And we’ll put in a contraption that requires the room key to be inserted for there to be power in the room, so that when the guest leaves the room there is no way to recharge electronic equipment. Which doesn’t matter because we’ll fill all the outlets with plugs for our stuff, so they can’t plug anything in anyway.
“How about just leaving one bar of soap in the bathroom and providing shower gel? Of course, neither the shower gel, nor the shampoo and conditioner will be in the shower. We’ll put those on the sink, where they’re not needed.
“People might expect us to have liquid hand soap by the sink and a real bar of soap in the shower, but let’s do the reverse.
“When the guest comes in the room, let’s make sure that every flat surface is covered with pamphlets, tents, and magazines — whatever we can find — so that there is no clear spot for them to put anything down.
“And when we clean the room after they’ve moved all that stuff to the side, we’ll put it right back where it was.
“And make it impossible for them to get into bed because we’ll put the breakfast menu on the pillow.
“One more thing: Let’s make sure every lamp has a switch in an entirely different place, so there’s no way the guest can turn them on. If they do figure it out, we’ll punish them by only having bulbs that emit a tiny amount of light.
“Perfect. We need to keep them in the dark. Cold and dark.”

One thought on “What Hotel Operators Must Think in Designing and Maintaining Rooms”

  1. bruscol says:

    Some more:
    “Lets ask every guest if they want the ice bucket filled when they arrive – but then not provide any place for someone without exact change or small bills to buy anything to drink on the floor – we won’t take credit cards!!”
    “Lets provide a book in the room with all the things in it for people to do things, like how to use the internet, how to call room service, etc, but then lets not number the pages and have one page missing and see the guest go crazy looking for information that they KNOW must be in there!!”
    “Lets tell them to call 20 min in advance to get their car out – but then we won’t even start to go get their car until they are downstairs”
    “Lets put bathrobes in the rooms but not mention that on the web site, so that they bring their own robes and not use ours”.

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