Absurdity With Soup and Hamburgers

H ere are two stories I would like to share with you pertaining to absurdity with soup and hamburgers — one of which is a personal experience; and the other where I found how nicely my face fits in my palm after reading an article which was difficult to digest.

Lawyer is Souper Upset

A lawyer was bowled over by not being provided a cup of soup while dining on a meal recently at a restaurant in Mansfield, which is a suburb of Fort Worth in Texas; and Fort what it is Worth, he spoon-fed a notification that Benji Arslanovski — the operator of Our Place Restaurant — would be in hot water if he was not reimbursed the $2.25 for the soup, which was listed on the menu as part of a special deal offered on Saturday.

The restaurant apparently did not take stock in offering Dwain Downing — the lawyer in question — a discount or substitution when the supply of soup was depleted as Downing was downing his meal. Downing offered a downer that the menu amounts to a contract with the customer; and by offering neither soup nor a discount or substitute, the terms of the contract were violated.

Arslanovski argued that the menu clearly imparts that the soup is included with the meal “while supplies last.”

In addition to threatening to sue, Downing had the sheer bouillabaisse to attempt to consommé his satisfaction by seeking $250.00 in attorney fees in compensation for the time and effort spent noodling on drafting the notification.

I am surprised that Downing is not litigating by accusing the restaurant owner of committing a salt with pepper spray. Perhaps he should be canned.

That Hamburger is Not My Personality

In an e-mail message titled Burgers can have personalities too… which I received from Red Robin — which is a chain of hamburger restaurants — wishing me a Happy National Hamburger Month, I was asked to take this quick quiz to “find out what burger” I am.

After several rolls of my eyes, I decided to ketchup with the quiz to lettuce see what happens. I was grilled for only a minute or two before I finally found out my answer:

You’re All About That “WOW Effect”

Discovering that one unique item sets the whole thing off! Like a pop of color in your outfit, your burger just needs that one ingredient. bacon. You tend to be levelheaded but aren’t afraid to splurge when it comes to your bacon obsession. Go ahead: Treat Yo’ Self

You are the Bacon Cheeseburger

Red Ramen burger ramen noodles

Red Ramen burger. Source: Red Robin.


That put me in a bit of a pickle. I do not even like cheese; and readers of The Gate have chided me on that in the past.

Probably even more moronic than this cheesy quiz is that I actually spent several minutes of my life — which will never be returned to me — taking the stupid thing; but I suppose it beats eating a hamburger whose bun is comprised of ramen noodles.

I am considering contacting Dwain Downing and see if he will sue on my behalf …


Today is Monday; so to lighten the mood for this week, I thought I would present to you a couple of true stories which are on the absurd side — and please feel free to impart your own absurd tales to share.

Source: Red Robin.

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